darv and carv

but i dont want to sleep but i can't keep my eyes open.
my clothes smell
i smell
i'm drinking lots of water so i just KNOW that i'm going to pee in the night. i dont like peeing in the night because our room isnt bright but the hallway is really light and so when you step outside it hits you really hard!
speaking of the hallway, it was raining the other day so i took my umbrella out and then when i came back i put the umbrella in the hallway and then this girl fell on it. FELL on it! i was like how the hell do you fall on an umbrella? how? and i saw it and it was like completely fucked up and all the metal bits were sticking out and inside out. the girl who tripped on it left me a note and said that she was going to buy me a new one. and she did.
that's nice of her because i dont think that i would've payed for someone else's new umbrella. It's a really expensive umbrella as well.
speaking of umbrellas i just got a new one because of the girl who fell on it. and it's half way through the time that i'm supposed to be here and i got a new umbrella. get it? it's like an umbrella for each half of the time that i'm here. how cool is that?
it's gonna be 8 degrees tomorrow - that's like freezing but not as freezing as now because it's like 1 degree. i dont have clothes for this weather. i have one coat and it's pink. And i have pink tracksuit pants. i cant wear the both of them together...what do i do?
this is really long. I can't keep my eyes open...
maddissonn says that it was snowing up state today. not here obviously because otherwise i would've known. it's really cold and i dont have clothes.
someone send me some clothes ok?

We're aiming for some D's so that on our transcript it will say D as is Distinction, not D as in A B C Dumbass.

I've noticed that the teachers here like to talk during the midterm exams.
What the hell is up with that? If I'm not allowed to bring in an essay guide or look over my shoulder at someone else's answer to question 32 or sms a friend, then they shouldn't be allowed to answer stupid questions regarding spelling or making jokes.
It's so disruptive to my already mangled brain. I don't need someone going:
"remember this painting guys? remember? we did it the other day. Just answer the question about it and you should be fine."
or
(some guy is coughing up a lung in the Holocaust exam) "wow, it sounds like a tuberculosis ward in here!"* Then people laughed which caused more people to cough. Who does that? seriously?

* I'm beginning to see that tuberculosis is a big deal around here.

Nurse Greg

Ran his fingers up and down my arm once.
then twice
then declared that I indeed did not that Tuberculosis.

$5 well spent.

quick quiz: short answer question #9

how do guys with acne shave?
the reason i ask is because there was a guy in the food hall today eating a mountain of french toast sticks for breakfast and then licking the plate and he had acne all over his face and mouth.

bad mood weekend

pet peeve #49
when cars are meant to wait for you at the crossing because the pedestrian light says go but they turn anyway. patience ploise.

pet peeve #76
when cars drive with their hazard lights on during the day

pet peeve #90
when frat houses have their monthly parties outside the quiet hall instead of in their frat house.

pet peeve #85
when skinny people eat shit and still stay skinny without doing anything.

quick quiz: multiple choice question #69

Sam's wife always wears the same black nightgown whenever she is 'in the mood' for sexual relations. Sam becomes sexually aroused as soon as he sees his wife in the nightgown. What does this pacifically mean for the sexually aroused Sam and his kinky wife?
a) Sam is a horny asshole bastard
b) Sam's wife has a limited night time wardrobe
c) Sam and his wife have great 'sexual relations'
d) While Sam and his wife are having said relations, he is actually thinking of a big juicy Hungry Jacks flamed grilled burger with curley fries and a large diet pepsi.

take out the s and give me a HOTEL

you know it's a good hotel when...

1) the room numbers are in the thousands

2) there are mirrors in the lifts

3) there are doonas on the bed

4) there are products in the bathroom

5) there's room service

6) there is expensive art on the wall

7) there are multiple lights in the room (6 to be exact)

8) 2 people can stand in the bathroom at once

9) theres a great view (30th floor baby!)

10) there is climate control

11) multiple cars can drive up to the outdoor area

didn't actually see Toronto Canada at all. Just stayed in the hotel room, watched TV, went to the pool, sat in the hot tub (before taking these photos), danced around the lobby Paris and Nicole style, called the front desk for help about when desperate housewives was on and kept washing our hair.
well we had to make the most of the 399USD a night room that we didn't actually end up paying for. That's so hot.

another psyche quiz coming up and all i can remember is this...

Innocent:
"you've all been breathing for the past hour and a half."
"breath is the horse and the mind is the rider."
"when you're asleep you're not dead."
very reassuring comments by our psyche professor. But then she had to go spoil it all...
Naughty:
"unhook or just take off any tight clothing and uncross you legs."
"a less sexy or romantic view is..."
"engorgment of...other body parts..."
She is just such a kack!

I'm as kinky as a cheap garden hose

I'm naked and in the middle of New york City and i dont know where my hotel is
I'm naked and I'm on a train with my uncle
I'm naked and I'm sitting a calculus exam

You can tell that I'm dreaming because i would never sit a calculus exam. But imagine this - now what does it mean?
that was the question of the day in the psyche class this morning.

then we were discussing the best way to sleep and she suggests that if we dont fall asleep after 20 minutes in bed then we should get up and do something until we are drowsy. She also suggests that we should do something pleasurable for 10 - 15minutes every night in bed before we actually sleep. then she kindly reminded us to keep beds purely for sleeping and sexual activities.

is my teacher kinky or what? why can't she pick normal examples?

the last kiss

another movie that everyone has to go see.
Apart from our mega ten hour tour of Washington on Saturday, we also went to see a movie because we needed to sit down but we wanted to make the most of our time.
This movie is so moving and so unpredictable that the ONE weak person in it doesn't even register. The characters are truly believable and excellent and it uncovered my biggest fear about relationships and growing up.
It also uncovered my deep secret love for Casey Affleck but when you see the movie, you'll understand.

"i just really liked casey affleck. i mean i just really liked the his character."
"do you like casey as well?"
"no. just his character"
5minutes later.
"yeah, i really love casey affleck...his character."
"OMG! Just say you like CASEY AFFLECK!"