DONNAS

look, it's Mary, Keya and Stef and Daren all having fun at donna's birthday!

OH NO WAIT IT'S NOT BECAUSE THOSE SLACKERS DIDN'T SHOW! i know there were a myriad of reasons, but this is the WORST EFFORT made EVER! if you count me and donna as high school friends (which i technically do) then that means there were NO UNI people from our year there.
That's right. you all sit in your corners and think about what you DID!

Speaking of corners, we were stuck in a self made corner at the door of a jam packed Kuletos Happy Hour. I just did not understand the concept. I thought it was two drinks on the menu for the price of one. But nay. It is two of the same drinks for the price of one. Hence, I always ended up with 4 drinks the couple of times I ordered...
Still, not very mucho drunkos, we headed to the Marly next door and discussed the social retardedness that you are if you attend a unisex selective school. Considering we were all pretty much some sort of selective school survivor that was quite a long and sobering conversation.

two st georgians and a sydney boy.

So sobering in fact that even rude text messages about sex with pigs and dogs (i think) weren't that funny after a while.
We resorted to concentrating on the goodness in the world and how OXFAMunwrapped.com is a good way to start being good. One gift option is pig training which is, well, good because 'they train them like dogs so the communities know what they want.'

Then we talked about drugs criminals use during violent acts.

The highlight was sufficiently quashing the celebrations of the other birthday there that night by taking over their 'happy birthday' song and singing louder than them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONNA!

Oh no wait, there is a God

Well it's more of a Goddess (of course).

I came home last night and stumbled across the living to my horror of horrors. An unmistakable giant pink and silver horizontal patterned shopping tote was sitting upright in the corner of the room. There were odd bulges protruding from the otherwise crinkle free shiny paper.
There were not only things in my beloved Victoria's Secrets bag, it was STUFFED.
Apparently it had been packed with food and alcohol as a present for a dinner tonight. Don't get me wrong, I love food and alcohol but NOT in my must-buy-something-bigger-than-underwear-so-i-will-choose-this-
overpriced-hoodie MASSIVE bag!

no one understands.
Highly upset.

There is no god

Us singletons have discussed and discussed.
Bashed and beaten
Talked and bitched
sighed and cried (ok maybe not cried. that's a bit dramatic)
about HOW this is happening to us.

The conclusion is that there were two places: work and uni.
I do not work at a place that supplies sufficient work not to mention anything else and most friends in retail are surrounded by even more bitter managers.
Uni is this massive GAY desert.

And so I have discovered a new place: church (do not join for the wrong reasons). All people I have relied to on to be forever single have all of a sudden gotten very involved in church related activities and now all I hear is "the other day, i told him i loved him and he told me he loved me."
This amazes me as it happens to people across the whole friendship deck. People from high school go to church, people from work go to church, people from uni go to church, people I randomly meet at the Priceline checkout GO TO CHURCH!
I am happy for them, but I am not happy for me. I can't join a church!

Although, on the upside, I found some old Buddha jades in my jewelery that I'm going to start wearing. HOTT

I'm not Buddhist either. I'm soo screwed.

My worst Nightmare realised last night

I always thought that my fear of water was a basic thing where I am paranoid about drowning. But last night, i managed to add a whole new dimension to my phobia.
It's strange how water in the darkness looks solid.
Marina's are creepy - very murder scene.
And getting on and off a moored boat in the night time is the worst thing you could ever ask someone with hydrophobia to do.
There was a lot of legs over rungs, gripping tightly to measly steel rods for support, some guy in a t-shirt telling you how 'easy' it was and the friend you went with telling you to not fall in.

On the upside, my friend booked this for her 21st.
Very cool with cute fairy lights and it plays 'my cherie amore' by Stevie Wonder. My favourite.

Joke of the day

What did the Indigeridoo?
He answered the phone when the Boomerang.


I didn't get it at first. But it's seriously growing on me.

Family pulls crap

Me stunned into silence.

Yesterday I arrived home to only find one sock after I had taken a shower. So I asked my mother who asked her mother where it was and luckily, she had seen my sock.
So I says 'where did you put it?'
And she says 'in the bin.'

THE BIN

Her reasoning was because she had nowhere else to put it and she didn't know what I wanted to DO with it.
But my question is why did she have to put it anywhere? Why was she cleaning my stuff at all? And does it just stop at cleaning? There's looking, touching, misunderstanding, using....

Then today, my mother called me from my (searched) room with an urgency in her voice that only mothers can have. I hurried out to the drive way to find her standing over this filthy beige inside out sock that had a green toe with eyes to resemble some sort of animal.
She asks 'Is it yours? No? ok, pick it up and throw it over the fence then.'
When I looked at her (you know the look) and refused to partake in her weird emergency, she threw it over herself and proceeded to give ME the you-always-give-me-attitude-never-help-me-do-anything-trouble-child look.

IF she goes through my things, wouldn't she KNOW that wasn't my sock? IF she just did the laundry wouldn't she SEE there was no partner sock?

But all those inconsistencies aside, this is no longer about the sock.
I have accepted the different logic planes that my family and I operate on. For the most part, they have accepted my aloofness and non communication, I have accepted their hermitness and ridiculous beliefs such as 'EBAY? international selling? no one would want that'.
But in certain situations such as these the idea of an irreparable gap hits harder than ever. The chance of reasoning diminishes in tandem with my Chinese vocabulary so when I yell it sounds like 'ME! DON'T LIKE! CLEAN! YOU! STOP!'

So: me. want clothes. pretty. no money for house. not emo. asian.

i just registered for spice girls tickets!
i screamed twice.
i feel so alive!

SUE - THRIFT MAXIMUX #23

Full Cream milk to me is now like Dial Up Internet. Haven't had it for three years and my life is SOOO much better.
Drink skim
I get that babies have to have Full cream. That's ok, but the regular human beings should be considering the fact that Dairy Farmers Skim contains 37% calcium whereas Full cream contains less.
Drink skim
The thing that used to stop me from switching was because the 1Litre price difference between both bottles was too noticable, but the perfect solution has presented itself.
Drink skim
COLES Skim sells at $1.55 a litre and averages 40% calcium. So brand power my foot (unless you call Coles a brand) and DRINK SKIM!

Tiffs and Jifs

A lady from my friend's work recently resigned as did a lady from mine. While her lady received round brilliant diamond earings from Tiffanys valued at $4000 ( I was trying to find the actual picture when I got blinded by this one. Isn't it beautiful!?!')
mine received some Jif and kinky gloves because 'it's sooo great when you clean! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA'

and to that I say NO. NO NO NO NO NO.
My friend Sue (self proclaimed THRIFT MAXIMUS) and I discussed the situation and decided that it's not funny when you point out the fact that the rest of you are lazy turds and can't clean up after yourselves even though you're grown people.
It's not nice when I've given my life to this company and my gift is something that I can afford with 5 minutes worth of pay.
And it's definitely not like I'm shallow and live for diamonds that come in an instantly recognisable pale blue box (because I will take any diamond that you can throw vaguely in my direction).

oh wait, this didn't actually happen to me. But still, SPLURGE PEOPLE!

wahhhh

I've been over eating due to stress: let's see what did i eat today....no wait, what DIDN'T i eat today?
Plus i feel that my body is FILLED with lactic acid - you know that pain - and just two minutes ago some LOSER!! i know from school accidently msn'd me saying
"hey! do you still have kley's number? he just stood me up in the middle of LONDON!!!!!!"

so admist everything else, i now wish i was with someone in the middle of London. Or better yet, being stood up by someone in the middle of London because I like the drama...