this one is for you donna....

after reading this, i have been very conscious about my own financial situation and it's going very well even if i do say so myself.
saturday night:pide and small chips: $3 because we told the man we had already paid the other man for the pide
oporto small chips: $1 because we told the man that we didnt have anymore money
drinks from the pav: $3.50 because it's a cheap dirty place

So we were on the street eating our half stolen pide and chips when this woman wearing sort of party clothes and a backpack wagged her finger at us and said 'IF YOU'RE NOT WALKING YOU'RE WORKING!' what does that mean? I'm not working or walking, I'm eating pide.

boys are stupid...

...made out of something that rhymes with stupid.

I have a new life consultant who says: 'Boys are stupid! and don't you forget it!'
and I sayed 'double clicked to memory bank. But wait...what about men?'
and she says 'Deep deep down inside every man is a little boy. So they're stupid too, it just takes you longer to realise...'

hmm......interesting....

I don't know if i should be saying this...

so i'll say it anyway and if i shouldn't then it's not my fault, it was like this when i got here.

I went to a careers fair today to check out some possible careers. Firstly, turns out im in the wrong degree (hahaha...yeah....) but some things did catch my eye. Like various Defense agencies for example. I thought 'Noir spy? trenchcoats? i could do that.'
Me: Hi, I'm doing a Communications degree and i was wondering what sort of opportunities i might have in this field.
Person at the stand: yeah, i can't talk. I have to leave because there have been some threats against us so here, have a pamphlet.
And with that, all the defense people left.

Now, I don't know if there are any threats floating around at the moment but I'm inclined to believe them. Otherwise it's all just some very elaborate rouse to make defense look more interesting than it is.

OH OH! it's one of those golden moments!

Isn't it great when something from the night before hits you and you're like OH YEAHHHH....milk was a baaad choice.
anyway, i just remembered that last night Stef dropped the sugar cherry from her drink and asked me if i could go get her another one. So i looked on the floor and found a half of a strawberry. She politely declined so we skewered it and put it over the candle fire.

then gave it to ahem...someone...to eat.

loves it.

the annual reason to be a trashbag (other than the fact that you just naturally are)

BAR ACE:
The best place to start the night because basically people just want to leave the seedy seedy seedy hole. BIG thanks to mary who made me some sex ed cards that I will now always carry with me in my wallet in case a situation arises.


GAB BAR:
We practically had the place to ourselves but we chose to congregate in the futuristic disabled bathroom cubicle and take some flashy mirror pics.

WALLABY BAR:
Again, we had the place to ourselves. It's very hard to ignore and compete with 10 20 year old girls who are raping the DJ stand. Again, more corpies but these were a little more rambunctious.
old(ish) woman: hey girls, my feet really hurt but those guys really still want to dance so why don't you dance with them and give me a break?
and moments later the 'guys' she was referring to came along with this gem: 'hey girls, our girlfriends over there are leaving and really disappointing so can we dance with you instead?'


I totally just realised that this whole post has been about mary and donna, the two earliest flies to drop off the radar, whereas it should really be about me.

well, i can't say no now....

I got my obligatory birthday letter from the gym again and i was like 'oh fucking great' so my friends can't splurge 50c on a letter, but the gym (which i barely visit anymore) can.
Anyway, positivity aside, I opened to letter expecting the same 'get a free powerade the next time you visit' and instead i got:
- a free photo sessions with 'starshots' (in bankstown, but it's ok, i'll go during the daylight) worth $173.
- $200 voucher to purchase these shots of me looking like a star.
- 2 guest passes to the gym valid for 10 days
- and that free bottle of Powerade.

this is almost as good as that time i opened those nanna's apple pies and found that there was 13 in the packet instead of 12.

thursday class

on Derrida and how his poems often have multiple meanings:
"like, i was reading the poem and the poem said 'density' but i accidentally passed over it and read 'destiny' and i was like, "Wow!" that's really interesting what he does with words."

on the power of memory:
"like, i was somewhere and i smelt something and it reminded me of something else..."

LETTER FROM THE WIFE

To my darling husband,

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the Ute when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from K Mart, and when I turned into the driveway, I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the Ute fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife,
XXX

P.S. Your girlfriend called.

one word for you kim: WESTY-UNDERAGE-BOGANS

My friends and I have decided that we're going to be in this next year and I dont mean as some puncy volunteer, i mean IN the mardi gras. Tonight we saw a ute being driven around with just kegs in the back and one of our friends just bought a ute. So obviously, two and two together means that next year we will be sitting on top of a ute shouting for some sort of asian rights or something.




























Anyway, the night ended up with us taking our sweet time in this bathroom because no one else was in the glasshouse building and eating 3 times during the space of 7 hours. That's a record even for us. It's like we've eaten so much we've resorted to trying things like 'cereal crushed iced tea with black jelly'.

on our way to the car, this guy was behind us and he randomly says 'it's dangerous girls, i could be stalking you.' After much 'sorry, could you say that again?' he says 'oh its just a joke, have a good night.'
turns out he was parked next to us and he 'kindly' offerered us a lift while we're getting into our own car.
also turns out he's heading in the same direction as us and as we tail him we see that he has a 'baby on board' sign on his back window.