the one wearing pink is the girl, the one with the stripes and the duck is the boy

Tonight we celebrated Angie and Tony's 'birthday'. It's chinese to celebrate their one month birthday but tonight was actually their two month so i put it down to the fact that there are two of them.
anyway, enough about them...I discovered another group like the uni group. these are kids that i stopped hanging out with when i turned 8. they just talk about EVERYTHING
"hey, wasn't it funny that night that we played strip poker?"
"OMG that girl looks like she hasn't even hit puberty. THAT girl looks like she's hit puberty. Do YOU remember when you hit puberty?" I was like stop saying puberty
Speaking of puberty, i realised that the next big bashy celebrationy thing for someone's baby will be for........ME

SIZZLER!

camara? camaray? caram? ohhh....carramar. I have to say, it was very good despite my initial reservations of moving away from my regular sizzler in carlton (i've just realised how disturbing it is to have a regular sizzler). i still suggest you go to both and see for yourself
carramar: has booze
carlton: has corn
also, there is now take away sizzler. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT? how can you take away sizzler? thats just cheating on yourself.

And i know I've said this before, but i am really really going to miss the whole uni gang. we just have the best things to talk about and do
- growing pubic hair. Its not a big deal for girls so it must be some sort of male/look at my body hair thing.
- westies like to go on swings after sizzler. and next to the swing is a giant crop circle thing with a tree in the middle. i dont know what thats about but we played in it anyway.
- watching multiple tables come and leave during the course of our stay
- watching the sun go up and down again during the course of our stay

and as always, there were a few good calls of the day but i have to say that his tops the list:
LUCI: (she went around taking photos of everyone so that we could have 'portraits' of our friends when we are in NY) So, Daren how do you want to look in your portrait?
DAREN: (seriously) Oh, I'm thinking like, you know, relaxed...
WHO SAYS THAT?! but here it is...Daren looking relaxed




mary decided that not looking at the camera made you look better in a photo. I dont know, i have a before and after shot there for you to decide (keya being the constant and luci and i being variables). But it also means that now i have a lot of photos of a large group of friends all smiling at the camera except for mary who's chosen to smile at something else...

No wait...i take that back

technology is pretty ok.
So a while ago, i emailed the ABC and requested to see Pinky beecroft back on the Glasshouse and tonight, on their 200th episode special he was ON!
i like to think that i had a little (tiny) something to do with it but i dont know, you do the math.
(those who watched it should get it and be laughing right now)

technology sucks!

so after the whole laptop thing, i come home from work the other day and the DVD player has stopped working.
OH
MY
GOD!
so im like its ookkkk...because i can just go buy a cleaner tomorrow. This idea is rejected, instead it is taken back to the dodgy fob who sold it to us. We got a new one that only shows things in pink or blue. this may be due to two reasons:
1) i dont know how to read (unlikely)
2) its not actually NEW, its off the boat like everything else! (very likely)

So im a reduced to watching 'shock docs' and that Ivan Milat special.

Bouncing back from being screwed

i have to say, the book is better than this thing because at least you dont have to hear her voice. You just have to put up with sentences like "i like wearing blue. it makes me feel like a princess."

I promise...this is my first and last Paris entry (hehehe).

I've never needed alcohol more in my life...

I'm pretty sure this one wasnt a dream because i was actually really angry...


Mum: hey! How come the new laptop broke? i was just playing a game and then everything stopped.
Dad: It's ok. I'll fix it...

i dont think that the world is big enough for the 4 of us...

"We are best friends and we always dress alike."
"STAY STRONG & YOU CAN NEVER GO WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!"
"DON'T EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS- KEEP YOUR DREAMS ALIVE- BECAUSE IN THE WORDS OF SLY- YOU CAN MAKE IT IF YOU TRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

maddissonn? are you out there in another band and you just haven't told me?

i almost bought some white pants today...

like big baggy summer ones. The ones that have no pockets. The ones that are like, made of canvas. The ones that have the huge HUGE HUGE hair elastic as the wasteband. the kind that people do karate in. I can't seem to find a picture but it's the ones for $39.95 at miss shop.

thank the good lord they didnt have my size. Other people seriously need to come shopping with me.

Dessert Bonanza

For donnas birthday we all went to have high tea. now i dont know what you think when you hear those words, but i imagine ladies in lovely hats eating finger food and drinking all sorts of flavoured tea. However, upon arrival i stuffed my face with whatever the hell i could find at the buffet! It was a magical table with mini-sandwiches, mouses, cakes, pastries and fruit which they encouraged you to dip into the chocolate fountain.
In my defense, i hadnt eaten that day.

THEN! tonight i was having some nanna's dessert pastries (filled with chunky apple and custard) and on the packet it said 12 but when i placed them on the tray for baking i realised that there was 13! i was like WOW! it was so magical i even called my mum in who was outside doing the laundry to have a look.
In my defense, i believe packets when they tell me things.

Now i wonder what magical things will happen at Sizzler...

this call may be recorded to improve service and for security reasons.

a telemarketer from a cable tv company calls the other day and asks if i would like to install cable tv. and i say no. and he says really? and i say yeah. and he says we have really good deals though. and i say no, im pretty happy with the deal i have now (the free one). and he says really? you're happy with commerical television?
then he scoffs
then he hangs up.

a TELEMARKETER hung up on ME.

tell me this is not the cutest thing that you have ever heard...

i sent an email to my grandfather the other day and he replied saying that the whole family was on vacation without him. i quote:
"its so boring to be alone."

but now i cant help but think about my own impending death, the death of my loved ones and friends and how if I never find someone, i'm going to be alone too! and not just while my family is on vacation, but FOREVER! it also reminded me of another conversation i had in year 9 with a friend.
ME: i dont think i want to get married and have kids.
FRIEND: really? but then you'll die alone!
ME: YOU will be there wont you?! YOU will still be my friend!
FRIEND: well, i dunno...i might be pretty busy with my own family.

Tell me I'm dreaming...

ME: hey guess what? i got my results back and i got a high distinction in one of my essays!
FRIEND: wow (really long pause)
You know what though? everyone gets high distinctions.

I honestly don't know if this was real or a dream. I just know that the HD is real, I am real, the friend is real (well if this case is true, a little iffy i suppose) and i woke up really angry one day.

Knock Knock

I'm seriously contemplating putting a sign under our doorbell that says:

when you ring the doorbell

someone inside the house

(if we are home) will say 'who's there?'

and you will be expected to state your name

or the door will NOT be opened for you

no matter how long you stand there.

this seems pretty obvious but after various people (uncles, aunts, family friends) don't seem to understand the multiple steps in using a doorbell, i think that the sign will actually be useful. It will be completely user friendly available in English, Arabic, French and Chinese.

However, there are people that i dont want to open the door for such as little kids selling chocolates, jehovas witnesses and our neighbours who always want me to sign their pigeon petition ("will you sign our petition so that we can keep our pigeons please? The council wants to take them away because they shit on peoples cars.")
I would hate for my sign to give them the wrong idea that I welcome them pressing the doorbell.

Maybe it was medicinal...

i was walking down the street and this person in front of me was smoking but he (or she, i couldnt tell) was too far for me to overtake but close enough so i got a face full of smoke! i was like ewww, but i couldn't walk any faster. I was behind this androgynous person for like 5 minutes before i realised that i wasn't smelling the normal cigarette smell. it was something much sweeter and i realised that it was pot.
In broad daylight. On a main road. At 8.30 in the morning.
This is not how i thought my first illegal drug experience would be.

Things i can cross off my 'to do before i die' list

I don't understand the concept of Coffee flavoured gum. it seems to defeat the purpose of gum. That's not the worst thing though. The one i have in my house is from China (this one is from Japan) so the chewability is about 2 seconds! It's melting as i type which makes me think that i should've just eaten some sort of coffee lolly.
Why did i put this in my mouth?

a new standard

so i was at my friends birthday drinks the other night and there was a guy sitting next to me and my other friend. He had nice hair (no visible scalp - definite bonus), nice clothes (good sense of layering) and just generally not a jerk. He even had a cigarette which wasnt too bad because i thought that he could pull it off quite well.
but then he also pulled out...


...a chapstick.

And I was like oh hell no! i mean, i appreciate men who look after their skin ( the Dove range is really good to anyone who's reading) and i understand that it was bitterly cold and dry that night, but there's something called the bathroom. Girls dont have to go, but guys certainly do. So here's the new standard - 'must not have skincare/lipcare products on person.'
there are only two things that are worse:
- a guy with a TUB of lip balm
- a guy who asks to borrow your lip balm.

so now we just sit back and wait...

Dear Britt

Thank you for your email about 'The Glass House'.

I am delighted you enjoy the show. I have noted your appreciation and request to
see Pinky Beecroft again, and passed these on to the team at The Glass House,
for their information.

Kind regards,
 -
Audience and Consumer Affairs