when i grow up i want to be...

A Runner = car slut
A Production Assistant = bitch (and not the good kind, it's the kind where you have to do stuff)
A DOP = the most valued person in the world
A First Assistant Director = the most fun person in the world
On Catering = no you don't stupid

anymore anyone?

word vomit

today i actually said the words "load of cream".

I dont even know what it means but its so so so wrong.

BACKSTREET BOYS!

Oh
My
God
!
Serioulsy the best ever! I love them I love them I love them!
I love more than I did when I was 12– which is like almost impossible considering I had every inch of my wall covered with their posters and clippings, pictures in my pencil case, pictures in my wallet, a BSB keychain, pictures in my phone, pictures on my computer, pictures on my desk, their CD’s on repeat, a trillion books on them, all their video clips and I taped EVERYTHING (ads, interviews, spots you name it I taped it) of them off tv.

PLUS I knew all their words (still do), all their birthdays, all their favourite foods, colours, pets, songs, all their siblings and my first CD ever was their BACKSTREET’S BACK one…
AND I even made my group in primary dance the Backstreet’s Back dance (we were pretty okay) but let’s face it – who didn’t? I know all the moves to all of their dances and I even watched ‘Parenthood’ 50 times just to see Howie in it…

FULLY wanted to marry Brian when I was 12 – but got over it when he got married to someone else instead – and moved onto AJ.

Get the picture? I mean there’s more…but that’s just embarrassing…

I’m not a nerd…I’m a popstar!

A regular interview:

“Hi how are you? The role we have on offer is ________. Let me tell you a little about the duties and requirments…”

“ so can you tell me some of your strengths?”

“ how about weaknesses?”

“have you ever had any experience in ________?”

“what do you want to achieve out of this role?”

“what are some of your goals in this particular field?”

“do you have any questions for us?”

you know, the regular shit

The interview I went to the other day:

“hi how are you? The role we have on offer is ________.”

“tell me how you would make a website”

“tell me the procedure of exporting files”

“How would you shoot a particular show?”

and here’s the clincher: “Do you know what FTP stands for?”

of course I got all of these questions wrong but ‘it didn’t matter’ because they could tell me anyway and they assured me that they would teach me their procedure.

Like,

DUH!

I mean I’ve never been examined like this before so it was just a shock, and its my fault for not knowing anything but HOW exactly could I have answered these questions without writing an essay or something? And again, my fault for not preparing for such an interview but they said ‘informal chat’ which I assumed to be about ME! Which I can chat about just fine…

Ruuuuude!

I went to the movies last night and saw the most horrible piece of shite ever! I won't say what it is but it was like COME ON! FINISH ALREADY!
anyway so towards the end of the film a girl in front of me farted.

yeah

i know

Calling Mr Brent...

FREE LOVE FREEWAY
David Brent (Juxtaposition records)

Pretty girl on the hood of a Cadillac, yeah
She's broken down on Freeway 9.
I take a look, I get her engine started, and
leave her purring and I roll on by. Bye, bye

(chorus)
free love on the free love freeway
where the love is free and the freeway’s long
I’ve got some hot love on the hot love highway
I ain’t going home coz’ my baby’s gone.

A little while later, see a Senorita,
She's caught a flat trying to make it home.
She says, "Por favor, can you pump me up?"
I say, "Muchos gracias, adios. Bye, bye."

chorus

A long time later I see a cowboy crying
"Hey buddy, what can I do?"
He says, "I lived a good life, had about a thousand women,"
I said, "Why the tears?",

he says, " ' Cause none of them was you".

Repeat chorus.

Can it get any better than that?
So if you are reading this Mr Brent maybe we can work out some sort of deal for Maddissonn and I? Just a meeting even so you could listen to ‘You go girl’ which I think you will pleasantly find to be very much along the same lines as your own songs. Actually have a read of it here…of course there is a second and third verse but I think the first one speaks for itself.

ahh...

sound guys...(you know what i mean)

a little sex education (part 2)

well, there's a lot to learn...

The Subtle Art of Flirting

er...only like the BEST play ever and I don't normally rave about stuff .Okay, I rave about everything...but this time i really mean it.It truly is a laugh out loud (or for those of you who cannot read proper english anymore LOL) experience. I know you have all laughed out loud before, but this one is with other people.

8 people who suffer from breakups and relationship woes try to figure out dating. Sound like something you've already seen before? Well, believe you me, this one is better!

I love things that are quotable - Zoolander, Friends, Simpsons, The News (with Sandra Sulley of course) and now The Subtle Art...
"I really do wish it was raining men, I wouldn’t mind just ripping off the roof and staying in bed…God I’m gay."

"Moral of the story, my mother thinks I'm ugly"

(and for those of you who were there) " stop Grace…just stop"

And there's plenty more where that came from...Wayne Tunk that is.

The people who played the roles fit the roles perfectly or as others would say 'it was cast well' with

Duncan Armitage

Nicole Da Silva

Kerri Glasscock

Sam O'Dell

Sean Kennedy

Rebekah O'Sullivan

Charlene Ramage

Wayne Tunk ( fabulously talented man who not only writes, directs and acts but also collect tickets at the door!)

Seriously, I remember doing theatre when i was young and now i know why people said that we weren't any good. SO GO SEE IT!

Newtown Theatre - Jan 20 & 21 at 8pm, Jan 22 at 5pm> Cnr King and Bray St's,Newtown

www.newtowntheatre.com.au> Tickets: MCA 1300 306 776 - www.mcatix.com

(Special Wednesday night student rush - $10)

Riverside Theatres - Jan 27 at 8pm and Jan 28 at 2pm and 8pm> Cnr CHurch & King St's, Parramatta Bookings: 8839 3399

Tickets $25 / $20 Concession + Booking Fee> Groups of 10 or more - $18 + Booking Fee
-

You Go Girl...

for those of you who DON'T know the words yet, here is the first verse to our hit 'YOU GO GIRL'. it's about girls going places and stuff...

wake up jeff
you crazy man
with your spikey white hair
what’s on your t-shirt today girls?

You go girl (kill kill kill kill kill kill)
You go girl (kill kill kill kill kill kill)

I just thought that it was so appropriate...

Volunteering: It DOESN'T pay!

NO! it doesnt.

but Kudos to all those who are nice to volunteers and make them feel like they've actually done something when really they haven't.

'Standby' my ass!
(oh hahaha - i just got that!)

Illegal Yum Cha II

Okay so you know when a word is on the tip of your tongue and you really need to use it but you just can't quite remember what it is?
It sucks when you are in an argument and you can't yell at someone properly because you keep using the wrong word.
OR when you are trying to make a point and people just stare at you with blank faces because you aren't making sense (awkward) and then they leave with the wrong point.
But the WORST is when you blog and then you have to correct yourself a few days later...
the word i was looking for was IMMORAL! i mean it was illegal as well, im pretty sure...but more immoral i would say.

30m minimum

Don't you hate drivers that indicate after they've started to turn?
I was at the round about and a guy opposite me started to go straight and then half way through he started to turn and indicate to his right and then 3/4 of the way through he decided to go full circle. Like Newsflash! Even i dont drive that bad.
And no i dont care if there are no other cars on the road...indicate anyway.

this story is for those who are going for their licences (donna i know its you) and those who think that they are too good to indicate.

Illegal Yum Cha

OMG! i heard the most craziest Yum Cha story the other day that i thought i just had to share...
so my friend's friend went to Yum Cha and when one of the cart ladies came around to show him what was on the cart he ordered something and she bent over and whispered
"I will give you another plate of these if you slip me two dollars in a napkin when you pay the bill."
so he says alright, and gets his free plate of food.
When the time comes to pay the bill he slips the lady a napkin with 5 cents (!!!!!!!!!) in it and walks off.

I dont know who's more crazy and illegal in this story...
although i had great legal Yum Cha just the other day myself.

This can't be good...

Okay so I have dinner at 5pm. That’s like when a 2 year old has dinner so they can digest and be in bed by 7pm or something!
Anyhoo, so that’s when I have dinner – not by choice of course – and I’m afraid that its getting earlier and earlier everyday because the hosue cooks are becoming more efficient. By 7 or 8pm I’m STARVING! But I don’t want to eat another dinner because then I’ll get fat and I don’t want to eat foods that actually fill me up e.g potato sandwiches because then I’ll get fat. So this is what I ate the other night after I finished my dinner:

4x nectarines
2x slices of bread with (extra light so I won’t get fat) cheese
2x slices of watermelon (after like 4 for desert)
and some Tiny Teddies (because I was SOOO hungry!)

feeling old...

Dear like, my diary…

Just got some photos developed from a birthday that I went to on the 30th Dec last year. I’ve known these people for almost 11 years – which is a CRAZY long time considering I’m only almost 19…


I hope we are still friends after me showing them in their pyjamas...

IN THE MOVIES #2

OMG! the scariest thing happened to me today...
I finally got around to watching The Ring (special collectors edition YAY!) and I have to say that its NOWHERE near as scary as the book! Koji Suzuki who writes the story about a Japanese journo who tries to uncover the mysterious death of his niece is much more structured and believable in his narrative. I just think that the film tried to do too much with the visuals and the colours that it got annoying because you couldnt even try to guess what happens next...the Hollywood formula has already spelt it out for you and whats the fun in that in a scary movie?
also, the guy that helps out our lovely naomi watts was not charming - again annoying! in the book he is this 40 something year old professor who's never taken any responsibility whatsover in his life, but the film puts a romantic twist between the leads which TOTALLY takes away the scary.
another thing that took away the scary was the fact that they played a lot on the children in the movie. I mean sure the girl who kills you - okay that's fine, but what was up with the son? I will not even begin my rambles about that boy...
anyway, now that you understand my feelings about this version it should not surprise you all to know that i did not believe ANYTHING that the movie said. So i continued to watch some of the special features one of which is called 'rings' a short film that basically follows up the movie but with a bunch of teenagers. this short ends with the tape playing so its kinda like you were the last one to watch it...cool but LAME at the same time.

so it finishes, my screen turns to static, i pack up my chips and the phone rings...

im like HOLY F#@K! f$#k f%^k F*&k!
despite losing faith in what the movie was saying - and the movie in general - i was SO freaked out! i tried to make my dad answer it but he was asleep.
i picked it up and my heart was racing and there was no response at the other end of the line which made me freak out even more!

luckily it was just someone calling to offer me a job - fingers crossed!

Wacky Question #1

So like, when i talk to people online i type HAHAHAHAHAHA even when I'm not laughing.

Why do i do that?

if you do it too, why do you do that?

Not too many Chiefs and just enough Indians…

Second day of shooting.

Again – an excellent and very productive and swift shoot day. Although we only had two sequences to go through (because we did 6 yesterday!) they were the harder ones so congrats to everyone for wrapping 4 hours earlier than planned.
Also, the ONE crisis that we had was that one of our dancers got the chicken pox and then her replacement got the flu so we had to almost grab some one off the street. Luckily a friend of mine ALICE, was willing and she came in all dressed and made up ready to go – don’t you love people who listen? She worked super well with her partner JOE and I could not have asked for better people to start my day off. Scene STEALERS!
Today we found our groove even quicker and I found that everyone around me was totally on the ball. Not only that but as someone so excellently put it – “Not too many chiefs and just enough Indians” which is what I think totally pulled this one off. I hope everyone had a good time and the shoot was what I expected and more which I think will show in the product.
The editors shall edit the the best of their abilities now…

Thank you to everyone who came, volunteered and conquered!
See you at the wrap party tomorrow night!

Oh and does anybody know the name of the guy who was on set and ate like 8 sandwiches a day? Geez…

NOT too close for comfort…

First day of shooting.

OMG – it was the best ever! Firstly we finished like 3 ½ hours ahead of schedule so our producer DONNA was very happy. Plus she was like WAY excellent in organising everything and letting everybody just work on the day! So biggest thanks ever!
The reason for that was because our first assistant director JOEL was excellent in if anything else but keeping the mood up which was so important. Opening and closing and opening and closing and opening and closing – you were warned that would be your job on the day!
Next our sound guy DAVE was sooo awesome! I mean we were doing this behind the scenes thing as well so we needed audio…so hot.
And we got sooo many nice photos thanks to our stills girl ISABEL! Who unfortunatley cannot make it for the second day but we have a trillion photos already.
Then our art designer – silent little worker who you never have to worry about – HANNAH had eveything prepared better than we could have imagined. The signs were so excellent so thanks to her boyfriend as well.
Then there was our lovely unit manager JOHANNA who is actually an old friend of Donna’s and she was nice enough to come along and be an extra set of hands for the day. Unfortunately she won’t be back for the second either (do I see a pattern forming here?) but no one will forget her cheesecake which was so excellent that it got a proposal (!) and an excellent review: “it has a lick…no, not a lick…a smudge of chocolate. So it’s not completely savoury and it’s not completely sweet”
Also, our backup dancers/ actors for the day! DUNCAN and JULIAN did the most amazing job in interpreting the song with their bodies the way that we want the world to hear it. They were so nice to put up with us the whole day while we tried to figure things out and were taken on a few unexpected rides (if ya know what I mean…)
With them were the excellent actresses MEGAN and JENNIFER that came in (one during her lunch break) for some minor roles. Although minor, the major would not be so without you! That’s meant to taken in the nicest way possible.
After we finished we all had a look at the days rushes and they were brilliant! Excellent lighting – especially on what might have been a potentially shiney surface! Of course this is all owed to JOSH our DoP who made an intense afternoon not so intense.
Wow, this has become more of a thank you speech rather than a report on what happened during the day so I guess I should thank the Academy and my parents…

OUR HOUSE (is better than yours)

So in starting with the new year I have decided to redecorate my favourite room in my apartment - the Bathroom! Now, whereas most people would purchase the entire catalogue of IKEA or POTTERY BARN, i have hand picked my items from www.elsewareinc.com - check it out! This first item is my new night light. Unlike your normal Winnie the Pooh or Action Man night light, this one has MORE POWER! I mean for those who are chronically scared of the dark like me, only an industrial sized one will do...
Of course you don't have to put this IN the bathroom, i suggest your bedroom or even front porch.
This has got to me my favourite though. i have fish, i have...er...needs so what more could i ask for? Now i know you are asking what happens when you flush and the answer is I don't know...but Colin is still alive.
This here is my inflatable shower which I totally plan to take with me when i start travelling. Yes it does look big but it actually folds down into some armchairs. I know how handy? i always like to sit down after I have a shower. Also, it has to be pretty big because it splits into two rooms - one for you to get wet in and one for you to get dry in.

This one is for the ladies...need i say more?

that's sooo lets get a fat free smoothie HOT!

IN THE MOVIES

Dear like my diary,

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

I hope that everyone had a great time with their friends and family like I did. But do you guys ever get mixed up between your own fabulous lives and something that’s happened in a movie?Well I do…and it happened three times during my new year celebrations.

1) One of my friends, Lisa had to go leave the party and pick up her mom at 2.30am because she had the car and her mom needed to get home. So it was like okay, me and my other friend Jenna went with her. We had had a bit by then and the two of us got a bit drowsy in the car especially because it was mainly on a lot of highways. Anyway, we were driving for an hour and half-ish and on the way back Michelle Branch was playing on the cd player. I totally LOVE her ‘Everywhere’ and so I asked for Lisa to put in on again, which is when I must have started to really fall asleep because I started to dream about me sitting in the car and singing along to that song. So it was a terribly rude shock when I actually awoke to find that I had been out for 45 minutes and I was just humming and making noises in my sleep.
Also, to my surprise, we were gliding along this deserted road ‘lost highway’ style. However, having recently seen ‘Wolf Creek’ I momentarily convinced myself that I was in that movie when they were being ‘helped’ and their car was being towed by Mick. I’m telling you the scene was brilliant – the side of the car front window framed the shot perfectly so that the white broken likes sped down the exact middle and the headlights provided an orangy glow that spread in a symetrical manner across the road. Then came the most wonderful line from Lisa
"I can’t believe that you guys trust me enough to just fall asleep like that."
Im just upset that I couldn’t keep my eyes open to see it for longer…

2) The second was later in the afternoon of new years day when we were driving home from the cinema and we decided to pull into Mcdonalds for something healthy. That’s when I realised that on all four corners of the cross road that we were on there was a fast food joint. We were at Mcdonalds, to our left was KFC, Krispy Crème and a Chilli house, in front of us was a takeway chicken place and next to it was Burger King.
Okay, so I can’t quite place what movie I thought I was in at that exact moment but if I were to ever want to be in something that was about fat people – I would make it there!

3) And the last happened when we were in her inside heated pool that was nice and clean. However, Jenna and her mother were discussing the state of her neighbour’s outdoor one which had turned green.
MOTHER: maybe its tiled green.
JENNA: no mom, its filthy.
MOTHER: isn’t it always like that though?
JENNA (sarcastically): yeah they have real healthy kids.
I felt like whipping out my pen, paper and boobs ready to sue someone Erin Brokovich style.